Deus Ex Machina

from by Chuckie Campbell

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lyrics

Deus Ex Machina

Chorus 1:

I chart this crooked path
telling stories of my stories
and stories of my past
inside still lies a man
turning back on what he had
sometimes, just what he has...

Verse 1:

All the rumors here are true
even if they didn't happen
even if they lied to you
in that lie still lies the truth
maybe from a different angle
maybe from your point of view
what was filtered through
your senses came out different in hue
colored by experience
how that mind often consumes

Now, I shudder when I pray
say how art will be thy name
southern accent painting pain
on every word in which I frame
maybe I deserve that hate
like a bad man in a good way
looking for my place to turn that bad
into a good day

I open broken notions feeling like I don't belong
even strong and driven people
tire out of being strong

Bridge:

I think back and pause but it all goes
back to back, and packed in a raw dose
deep impact, overlapped in a combo
joy and pain, everything that follows

Coda:

My mother always told me everything would heal with time.
The darkness nearly took away my life.

Verse 2:

I grew up where they pitch ‘dem drugs,
throw ‘dem fists, raise ‘dem thugs,
up from kids, lock ‘dem up,
they go dumb, they go crunk
drank that drank and smoke that blunt
all night in that hidden cut
dime piece in that black out truck
sixteen, nearly black out drunk
spread her legs for pills and weed
give up her virginity
to someone almost twenty three
young and caught up in the scene
many pass on, passively
'til someone stops them actively
and tells ‘dem what they 'sposed to be:
kings and queens and majesty

Imagine me, just trying to breathe,
out with crew and shooting hoops,
when changing my trajectory
led us both to introduce ourselves,
and nearly stand aloof
connection deep as family roots
had us making power moves
friendship can powerful

A mentor in my shattered youth,
who molded my bad attitude,
exposed me to my altitude,
scriptures, rap, and platitudes,
a master who was masterful,
each one teach one, afterward
pass on what was taught to you
and we have one less, amateur
chakras, auras, anima
I listened on those summer nights
so close, in fact, it felt as if
he almost read my mind
free-styling under buzzing lights
until sun lit up the sky
I wonder if we live our lives
or earn the right to die

Chorus 2:

I chart this crooked path
telling stories of my stories
and stories of my past
inside still lies a man
turning back on what he had
sometimes just what he has...

Verse 3:

Ralph Prater was my mentor
a friend consider fam
one summer he would spaz
after moving to Seattle and
shortly moving back and
something didn't match, man
something not intact had
left him fragile and disjointed
let down and disappointed
a poignant moment opened

A wall of cold emotion
A wall of cold emotion

Some kind of strange psychosis
Some kind of strange psychosis,

and then his anger burst
That’s when I was assaulted
He’s wailing hard and throwing
and then my jaw is broken

I couldn't fight him back,
not even lift a hand
A sense of calm came over:
I wasn't even mad.

I would've died for him
That night I had my chance
I'm on the pavement, holding
teeth inside my bloody hand
He left me there to die
but something called me back
that night, I saved my life
but now, relive my past
inside the looking glass,
I can see my face
My jaw still held together
by metal plates

And, that's how we would separate,
walk off in our separate ways,
a phone call then a legal case,
details merge, evaporate,
stories move and take the place
of truth and time to calibrate,
tales I could not calculate,
only half way speculate
what happened in that darkened space
doctors and physicians pace
wires and some metal plates
wires and some metal plates
said I'd never rap again
wires and titanium
here I am in rap, again
but we would never rap, again

If you can hear me, brother
I'm calling out your name
but this would be the last time
there's nothing left to say.

Bridge:

I think back and pause but it all goes
back to back, and packed in a raw dose
deep impact, overlapped in a combo
joy and pain, everything that follows

Coda 2:

The man who changed my life
tried to take my life,
but if I had the time,
I'd say and do what's right
March 2011, you committed suicide,
and there's nothing I can say or do
to move against that tide
and nothing here can bring you back
no matter how I cry,
so I do the only thing
I know to visit --
I rhyme.

End Song

credits

from More Die of Heartbreak, released December 21, 2013

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about

Chuckie Campbell Buffalo, New York

Chuckie Campbell lives in Buffalo, NY, where he writes short stories, poetry, and music. He is the founder and editor of Sunsets and Silencers, an online journal for the arts. Currently, he's working on a music project, More Die of Heartbreak, set to be released in 2013 ... more

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