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lyrics

(This goes out to my one unborn child)

I sit beneath the city lights
contemplating city life
caught between the lows and highs
dreaming from a distance
my existence was a tranquil sky
electric blue, streaks of white
blending bright and beautiful

(wondering if)

trapped in thought remaining thoughtful
of what dreamers seem to dream
thinking thoughts of thoughtful thinkers,
thoughtful of what thinkers think,
thinking thoughts into the deep,
thoughtful of what thinking means
lost in thought and often thinking
what "thinking's" s'posed to be

do you ever think of me?
'cause you're always on my mind
with a little bit here
and a little bit there
I literally know the signs
it's the simplest kind
consider it born
of the sentiment
centering senses
synergy intimate
seeming to think of it
seriously, dream of it
all the time...I

I fall behind
it's all, so undefined
I just, I want to hide
I was selfish, wanted mine
sometimes, I close my eyes
and I see another me,
unafraid of fatherhood,
love and honesty

I was shy and under pressure
when I first met your mother
she was older, I was younger
her presence seemed to hover
moved from lover to lover
between the sheets
and under covers we made
love to one another, always

(wondering if)

love would take us there
hurt beyond repair
what we could not reconcile
we almost always compared
it was friendship
caught on fire,
wonder who struck the match
come to hatch within
her heart and leave
it all up to chance
now come back
we hid it all from the world
so when I found out
she was preggo
she wasn't even my girl
is it a boy or girl?
the very thought would
make me earl
got me sick to my stomach
I'm really bugging, got me

(wondering if)

did it really have to happen?
I'm a child having children
such an alien feeling
I imagine the fetus
all the similar features
all its toes and its fingers
to think that we conceived it
I could hardly believe it
I made comments
didn't mean it, partly
being facetious
too immature to understand it
or completely redeem it
when she asked if
we should keep it
I said: not my decision
she got mad and started flipping, left me

(wondering if)

by saying nothing
an agreement occurred
something unarticulated, never
stated in words
I would never see your birth
development was arrested at 12 weeks
and at times, there's no speech
ayo, I can't speak
all I really do is think
wonder what if it was different
if you came into the world under
certain conditions, could I
care for you, would you have
brothers or sisters
spent my nights drifting, simply just
(wondering if)
writing letters to my unborn children
a strange feeling, bending time
and precision to events in extension
wishing....

credits

from Constant Elevation (EP), released May 5, 2012

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Chuckie Campbell Buffalo, New York

Chuckie Campbell is an American hip hop artist who lives in Buffalo, NY. Campbell commonly performs with a live band (drums, keys, and a full horn section), to make for a dynamic, powerful, and eclectic approach to hip hop, filled with fluid instrumentation, lush musical arrangements, and heartfelt poetic nuance. ... more

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